Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Long time, no post

It's been quite awhile since I posted anything here. I actually miss my frequent visits and sharing, but I'm glad that he's done with the meds, so it's good that there's no need to post what he's eating, the horrible side effects, the mood swings, the pain, the fear. August 10th will be a full 6 months since he stopped all the antivirals and we're both looking forward to that blood test that will read "undetectable" once more!  His weight is also back up (200); he had gotten down to about 180 and was much too thin. His current weight seems to be right on the money. When he started the Hep C treatment last year, his weight was about 230, I think. He's very tall, so he was still slim back then, but suffice it to say that physically, he's levelled off and things are looking up!

Unfortunately, that 6-month milestone will be celebrated with him in the hospital. The reason for that is that he's finally getting his long-awaited lumbar fusion surgery (on August 6th), which is a good thing. The bad thing is it's a very long (5-8 hours) surgery and there's a chance he may not make it through (there's always that chance, as they tell you, but with his other health issues, we're both pretty worried). Another good thing is that he has finally quit smoking, and I truly believe that it's for good. It's now approximately 2-1/2 months since he quit and all the benefits are showing. There's no more cough and his skin is looking better. That could also be because of all the antivirals being out of his body. I know that his hair is growing back; he actually needed a good haircut which he hasn't had in about a year! His spirits are up and all things point to positiveness that will help him through this surgery.

His spirits WERE up....until yesterday. Between the incredible pain he's feeling from the bone-on-bone pain due to the disc being completely gone and having to wait 3 extra months for this surgery, he's experiencing some withdrawals from the pain meds he was taking, and has fallen into a severe depression. He's got to wean himself down as much as he can. The ideal scenario would be if he could be off them completely, but I'm not sure how far down he can cut them. The pain is just unbearable for me to watch, so imagine what he's going through physically, mentally, and spiritually. The down side to all this is he's saying some hurtful things and making decisions/changes about his/our living arrangement that bother me. However, that being said, I've decided that I can't control his feelings, or influence any decisions he feels he needs to make. I can only support him with the love that I have for him and help him along in life. I just fear whatever happens surrounding this surgery will have a huge impact on our relationship.

I will pray for his complete health, a successful surgery, and hope that God will take care of everything else.